I like it, I love it.

I just got home from teaching a self-defense class to little kiddos. I stepped out of my car, took in a deep breath of crisp, lightly-manure-scented air and felt my shoulders relax into pure peacefulness.

I like self-defense; I love cattle ranching.

Cows and horses just settle in around me, and they fit like a pair of really good winter socks. You know, the kind that don’t fall down inside your boots but also don’t squeeze the circulation out of your legs?

It’s just natural, the way I love the wide open spaces, that far-from-anywhere feeling. I don’t have to convince myself that I’m happy where I am, I just am.

I like spending time teaching and practicing self-defense. I like the way the kids’ faces scrunch up in concentration. I like the way I can tell when they’re picturing a sibling’s face when they throw a punch. But I don’t love it.

Love isn’t always warm and fuzzy like the commercials say it is going to be. It’s hard. There are rough patches. It’s not always easy, and you don’t always want to be where you are. But the thought of giving up on love? Letting go of it? Never formed into a real thought.

It’s hard to describe my love for cow poop and horse slobbers, but I figure it’s along the lines of what I was always told when it comes to finding love with a Someone. When you’re there, you know, and you don’t know until you’re there.


  1. Amen! Funny how that’s what I try to tell people too and they don’t get it. Couldn’t have said it better myself, Erica.

    • I’ve found a good way to help other people try and relate is to ask them what they really love to do – whether it is a career, hobby, etc. It gives them a frame of reference.

  2. This cowgirl is still waiting to get THERE…

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