Navigating Your Share-a-holic Life

How do you navigate in this share-a-holic society?

Because that’s where we live. The advent of social media has turned a current of yearning to share into a torrential tidal wave of share-a-holics in every corner coffee shop.

When it was miles of prairie separating one town from the next, sharing happened. But it was slow sharing. Trickles of gossip on the party line. News and the occasional cherished photo packaged in a well-traveled envelope. After church chats when the pews had cleared.

But now sharing happens instantly. When the good, bad and ugly comes ’round the bend, you see people grab a phone or sit down to the computer to Facebook it, tweet it, Instagram it and blog it. You often hear about who did what to whom on Facebook or a blog post. Not from a phone call. Not even a text.

Have you gotten so wrapped up in the instant satisfaction of sharing your life that you’ve forgotten to take time to soak up an experience for yourself?

Have I?

I have.

Last week, I was in the final hour of a 3,200-mile impromptu roadtrip to the Iowa homeland when the most stunning sunset peeked through the trees. The sun was a brilliant shade of orange-red, the rays shooting color through a plume of smoke from a farmer’s burned field. The faint remnants of a day’s clouds hovered on the horizon, and the rolling hills cast a stark contrast to the molten crayon settling behind them.

My first thought was to not let this moment slip by. To capture this moment so it could be held and remembered, to share this fleeting beauty with a world that desperately needs touched by a beauty this pure.

But in capturing that moment, I would have lost it for myself. It would have become about angles, camera settings, photo captions and social network postings. The beautiful luster of that sunset would have quickly faded for me, and I too need moments such as those to fill my sails.

Sunset in North Idaho

Because I love sharing this beautiful country I’m blessed to live in, I gave in to my photographic urges. But I soaked up the sunset first so I only captured the remnants.

You and me, we are hardwired to share. It’s how community is built, how community thrives. We as a society didn’t reach beyond the wilderness without sharing experiences, traditions and lessons.

Sharing is good. In the share-a-holic society we thrive, there is no question we have learned the value of sharing, if not the art of it.

But is it possible we’ve reached a point where we need to relearn how to live in the moment?

How much of that game are you truly experiencing if you are live-tweeting it? How many anecdotes do you miss when you are Facebooking what grandpa said? How much of that sunset would I have missed if I’d been looking at it through the window of a camera viewfinder?

Sharing. Living. They belong together, but one isn’t meant to replace the other. How do you navigate the line between sharing your life and living your life?

Grabbing for Leather and Mane

Ranch riding isn’t like those weekend rodeos. You don’t get style points. There are tiers of rocks and legions of trees. Rarely is an audience on hand.

Ranch riding is pass/fail. You either stay in the saddle or you don’t. You either show back up at the corrals in one piece or come stumbling in carrying your detached arm. You either got the cow or she escaped.

If a horse decides he’s gonna cut it loose, I’m not going to stay on a real long time. I can ride a crow-hopper. I can even stick through a good solid buck or two, but I’m not going to make the 8-second call if my cayuse goes to the rodeo while I’m on board.

This weekend wasn’t an Erica Rides Pretty type of show. Maybe Erica Rides Gritty. It was short reins, ear watching and down-hill caution. It was hanging out in mid-air, grabbing for leather and mane, riding by instinct.

I passed this weekend only because I’ve spent years failing. Years of getting thrown, falling off and being a tiny passenger perched on runaway horses.

Even when you fail, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. There’s a difference between the two. Fail means you got dumped. Failure means you didn’t get back up and try again.

Pass the test every time you can. When you fail, dust off your bum and climb back on.

Chasing Butterflies

Life is short. Chase butterflies while you can.

One Heartbeat Away

There is little that sets you back on your heels like hearing a friend has died. I always think of Nick, and these words he wrote five years ago.

Of course, we are all dying. As one of my friends is fond of saying, “We are only one heartbeat away from leaving this earth. Every one of us.”

If you haven’t read Nick’s commentary on dying, Tim McGraw and living the life you have, then you should. He was an expert on two of the three.

I like to think those who have left are doing what they loved before disease, old age or accidents took their last heartbeat. I’ve been listening to this Chris LeDoux song on repeat today.

There is no plan?

I just realized I need a plan. It only took me 27 years, but I’ve finally been whacked over the head with the realization that I NEED A PLAN.

And not like a bank robber needs a plan. It’s more complicated than pulling a heist and burning the rubber off a Crown Vic get-away car.

To function at optimal capacity – and sometimes to function at all – I need a plan. That sounds silly for a girl who can decide to take a weekend road trip with no hotel reservations, maps or real destinations. But if I don’t have a plan, I can’t get myself to line out and go.

You know why I rocked an official time of two hours and eight minutes on my first half marathon? I had a plan. That training schedule was all I did for five months, but it got me where I wanted to go. I NEED a plan.

My weekends are filled with productivity, because I write to-do lists. I rarely cross everything off, but I put the kibosh on far more items than I would if I didn’t have the list. I even list fun things like “Watch 8 Seconds”. And then I add a trip to town for Kleenex since I cry every time. Like I don’t know how it ends, apparently.

But way more than a little complicated? Life doesn’t come with a plan. There is no sign-up line when you come into this world. No place to pick up a plan that says college at 18, marry perfect guy at 24, land dream job at 28, have two beautiful babies by 30, dispose of all Capri pants from previous decade at 32, own house by 35, be a ridiculously cute and happy family with no sitcom problems for all of eternity.

There is no plan. THERE IS NO PLAN?!

Well, shucks.

Why are you still sitting there?

Three words that will get you no further than the chair you’re sitting on? As soon as.

As soon as you get home from work.

As soon as you have three kids.

As soon as those three kids are in school.

As soon as those three kids are graduated.

As soon as you have enough money saved. (What is enough?)

As soon as you know exactly what you’re doing and where you’re going. (Hint: no one does.)

As soon as you get flowers from the neighbor boy, build a white picket fence, lose 10 pounds, get a nicer car, land the perfect job.

As soon as all that happens, then – and only then – will you roll the dice on what you’ve been dreaming of doing.

As soon as you start saying “as soon as…”? That’s when you hand the dice away.

Why are you still sitting there? Go get the dice back, and roll ‘em.

11 Lessons from a Failed Entrepreneur

Cowboy riding a bucking bronc at the fairFive days after I turned 27, my first start-up business closed its doors. A failed entrepreneur on my first try. I’ve dreamed of owning my own business since I was little. Funny how my start-up businesses never ended this way in those dreams.

It’s natural I have the drive to be self-employed. It’s how I was raised after all. Ranchers are the ultimate entrepreneur, I think. Volatile markets, weather, disease – all of which a person
Cowboy riding a bucking horsecan’t control – and trying to make a living at raising cattle is just about as risky as it gets.

And yet here I stand, bucked off the first time I saddled up my entrepreneurial horse. I made some serious mistakes in my inaugural attempt at owning a start-up business. I’m not proud of it, and I’d really rather not talk about it. Who wants to do a public postmortem on their failures? I’d much rather just shove them under a wagon and pretend like no one walking past can see them.

I’d certainly like to do that with my failed start-up business, but I know there are a lot of folks just like me who have awful big entrepreneurial dreams. While I didn’t make all the mistakes below, I made enough of them to learn the rest of them.

Learn from my mistakes, okay? Don’t go making these on your own time when they’ve already been spent on my dime.

11 Lessons from a Failed Entrepreneur

(in no particular order)

  • Know your business. Total “duh” note, right? Except that when you go into business with other people, division of duties happens pretty quickly. This is good, but you still need to be solid on all the areas outside of your expertise. If something happens to your business partners, you need to know how to run things.
  • Be passionate about it. Starting a business is incredibly time-consuming. It makes it easier to spend all your spare time working if you love what you’re doing. I liked my business. I believed in it. I didn’t love it, and I wasn’t passionate about it.
  • Know when to say no. Expanding too early. Purchasing things that aren’t essential. Get a backbone and say no if it isn’t a good financial business decision. Or an ethical business decision. Definitely say no then.
  • Decide how much money to put into it. Try to put a cap on how much money you are willing to invest in the business before you’re in the middle of it. This is an investment. One that you’re hoping to get a return on, and you need to treat it like one. There’s no sense in tossing money at a rank bronc who can’t be ridden.
  • Know when to let it go. That rank bronc? Sometimes you have to admit you’re not the one to ride it. There comes a point where more money, more time, more dedication, more input just isn’t going to turn a failing business around. There’s a fine line between keeping a business floating and being pulled underwater with it.
  • Write a business plan. How are you going to get where you’re going if you don’t have a trail? Sometimes it’s okay to strike off cross-country with a vague idea of where you’ll end up. In a start-up business, that’s not okay.
  • Pencil. Pencil. Pencil. Push that pencil. Estimate your input costs and what you hope to make. Be aggressive on the input costs and conservative on the profits. Don’t forget things like insurance, advertising, registering costs and regulation requirements. Pencil it all out and then pencil it again. Recalculate, re-add, reassure that you’ve got something that has potential to work. It costs nothing to pencil. It can cost everything to assume you’ve got an idea that will carry you to the barn.
  • Schedule business meetings. This one isn’t too popular as meetings seem like a waste of time. They can be, but an even bigger waste is when business partners aren’t communicating. And by waste, I mean detrimental to the business. Until you’ve been “married” to your business partner for awhile and the business is pulling a profit, business meetings are essential for everyone to continue saddling the same horse and riding in the same direction.
  • Don’t bend the rules in the first year. If you wrote a business plan, stick to it. It’s tempting to make exceptions for friends or special cases. Don’t do it. This is a business. Treat it like one. You won’t be able to help out anybody if your business doesn’t exist. After the first year, you’ll have a better idea of where you can afford to do pro bono work. Go for it then if you’re moved to do so.
  • Evaluate your business partner choices with your head, not your heart. Be brutally honest with this decision. Brutally. Honest. Friends don’t necessarily make good business partners. Spouses don’t either. Can they be? Yes. By default? No.
  • Show up. Starting a business takes commitment. A lot of time. Money. Sacrifices. There were a lot of times I really wanted to be out riding, mowing my yard or sleeping instead of showing up at my business. Due to a combination of several of the above mistakes, I stopped showing up as often. I don’t think the business would still be going if I had lived there five nights a week, but it surely didn’t help that I detached myself.

Maybe you’ve read through this list now, and you’re thinking Well, gee. There’s nothing earth-shattering here. This is common sense stuff, stuff you read on a whole lot of entrepreneur blogs and websites.

You’re right. But I read those blogs and websites too. And I’m chock full of common sense, even two-thirds full on a bad day. You think your start-up business will be different. That it will survive any miscalculations, poor decisions and slow money flow. Maybe it will.

And maybe it won’t.

How to Overcome Fear

Overcoming fear is hard. It starts welling up from inside the pit of your stomach. The fear that you won’t ever accomplish the things you want to. The fear your kids won’t make it past five years old. The fear that you won’t ever get to where you want to be. The fear that you don’t have enough money to put supper on the table. The fear breeds more fear until all you have are little fear monsters rushing through your body, flooding your brain into one giant mass of fear and nothing else.

You tell yourself it is irrational, this fear is. You tell yourself that you can do anything, that you can achieve anything you set your mind to, that you’ve got what it takes to overcome fear. Maybe you can. But what if you can’t?

It’s like the movie The Replacements when the football team is talking about fears.

The quarterback – “Quicksand. You’re playing and you think everything is going fine. Then one thing goes wrong. And then another. And another. You try to fight back, but the harder you fight, the deeper you sink. Until you can’t move…you can’t breathe…because you’re in over your head. Like quicksand.”

Let’s talk about fear, okay? Tighten your cinch, give your hat brim a tug and ride right into that hard west wind of it, because that’s the only way to overcome fear.

Create

There are only 24 hours in a day and seven days in a week. I work and with Project Half Marathon, my evenings are spent running. My motivation wanes for doing what I’m truly passionate about: creating.

Next to riding up in the hills, the creative process is what revs the motor most on that “this is so right, I almost can’t stand it” feeling. Writing. Designing. Drawing. Photographing.

Making something out of nothing is exhilarating. Armed with imagination and a few ideas, a blank page is transformed into something that matters.

I need to create like I need to breathe, and I haven’t been making it a priority. That’s about to change. I need to start breathing again.

24 hours in a day. What are you doing with them?

Love isn’t enough.

Love is rarely enough. Loving something and having a passion for something doesn’t mean it’s going to work.

I read this post last week by Doug Ferguson about how young people who want to get into the cattle ranching business need to have a plan. The only advice young people like myself who have such a dream should be following.

Loving cattle ranching isn’t enough to be successful at it. Breaking even every single year isn’t enough to be successful either. Sooner or later, something will wipe you out and all those years of breaking even will leave you nothing to fall back on.

This is a business. As Doug said, “It amazes me every year, how people will get into the cattle biz without a plan, or even without the thought of making a profit. No other industry in the world would try that.”

You need to have a plan to go with love. Success has a much better chance of happening with that combination.